Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Impossible

I remember years ago
someone told me I should take caution when it comes to love...
I did, I did
and you were strong and I was not,
my illusion, my mistake.
I was careless, I forgot..
I did
and now when all is done there is nothing to say
you have gone and so effortlessly you have won.
you can go ahead tell them..

tell them all I know now.
shout it from the roof top.
write it on the sky line.
all we had is gone now.
tell them I was happy,
and my heart is broken
all my scars are open
tell them what I hoped would be
Impossible.


Sung by Shontelle

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Like a motherless Child

Sometime I feel
Like a motherless Child,
Sometimes I feel
Like a motherless child,

A long...long way...from home.

And Sometimes I feel
Like I'm almost gone,
Sometimes I feel
Like I'm All Alone.
A long...a long way from home

Who's Got A Shoulder When I need to cry,
I feel restless and I don't know why,
Cry for help, but still feel alone,
Like A motherless child along way from home.
Lord I'm lost I can't find my way,
I'm dealing with the struggles in my day to day,
My Soul Is Weak and I wanna be strong,
I try to run away but I've been running to long.

I've been running to long...
Like A motherless child

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Send me an angel

Sometimes I feel like I don't belong anywhere.
And it's gonna take so long for me to get to somewhere.

Sometimes I feel so heavy hearted, but I can't explain cuz I'm so guarded.
But that's a lonely road to travel, and a heavy load to bear.

And it's a long, long way to heaven but I gotta get there.
Can you send an angel.
Can you send me an angel to guide me.

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Aint no Time like the one I've got!...right now.

Wild horses I wanna be like you! ...throwing caution to the wind; I'll run free too. I want to wrecklessly love, I wanna run with wild horses.
I'm trying to build the guts to do it. And build I shall.

I've delayed doing so much with my life casting it to the future...only, that future can't ever seem to come. So I'm just gonna do. Close my eyes and just do. Ain't no time like the present!

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

on sunscreen...

I try to read or listen to this about twice a month-it helps keep me grounded. I thought I'd share it with you

Ladies and Gentlemen [...] ... wear sunscreen.

If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be IT.

The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience.

I will dispense this advice now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded. But trust me, in 20 years you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked.

You are NOT as fat as you imagine.

Don't worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind; the kind that blindside you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing every day that scares you.

Sing.

Don't be reckless with other people's hearts, don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.

Floss.

Don't waste your time on jealousy; sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long, and in the end, it's only with yourself.

Remember compliments you receive, forget the insults; if you succeed in doing this, tell me how.

Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements.

Stretch.

Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still don't.

Get plenty of calcium.

Be kind to your knees, you'll miss them when they're gone.

Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't, maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't, maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself, either. Your choices are half chance, so are everybody else's. Enjoy your body, use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of it, or what other people think of it, it's the greatest instrument you'll ever own.

Dance. Even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room.

Read the directions, even if you don't follow them.

Do NOT read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly.

Get to know your parents, you never know when they'll be gone for good.

Be nice to your siblings; they are your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends come and go, but for the precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography in lifestyle because the older you get, the more you need the people you knew when you were young.

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard; live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.

Travel.

Accept certain inalienable truths, prices will rise, politicians will philander, you too will get old, and when you do you'll fantasize that when you were young prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders.

Respect your elders.

Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund, maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse; but you never know when either one might run out.

Don't mess too much with your hair, or by the time you're 40, it will look 85.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth.

But trust me on the sunscreen.

Show me your friends and I'll tell you who you are...

I can't choose my family, but sometimes I act as if I can't choose my friends, either.

Sunday, August 15, 2010

for Chris

Remember all the things we wanted
Now all our memories, they're haunted
We were always meant to say goodbye
Even with our fists held high
It never would have work out right, yeah
We were never meant for do or die
I didn't want us to burn out
I didn't come here to hurt you now I can't stop

I want you to know
That it doesn't matter
Where we take this road
But someone's gotta go
And I want you to know
You couldn't have loved me better
But I want you to move on
So I'm already gone

Looking at you makes it harder
But I know that you'll find another
That doesn't always make you wanna cry
It started with the perfect kiss then
We could feel the poison set in
"Perfect" couldn't keep this love alive
You know that I love you so
I love you enough to let you go

I want you to know
That it doesn't matter
Where we take this road
But someone's gotta go
And I want you to know
You couldn't have loved me better
But I want you to move on
So I'm already gone

You can't make it feel right
When you know that it's wrong..

I'm already gone, already gone
There's no moving on
So I'm already gone
already gone, already gone, already gone...

song by: Kelly Clarkson

Monday, June 21, 2010

My world! :)

You know I always stay up without sleepin',
And think to myself,
Where do I belong forever,
In whose arms, the time and place?

Can't help it if I space in a daze,
My eyes tune out the other way,
I may switch off and go in a daydream,
In this head my thoughts are deep,
But sometimes I can't even speak,
Would someone be and not pretend? I'm off again in my world

I never spend less than an hour,
Washin' my hair in the shower,
It always takes five hours to make it straight,
So I'll braid it in a zillion braids,
Though it may take all friggin' day,
There's nothin' else better to do anyway.

When you're all alone in the lands of forever,
Lay under the milky way,
On and on it's getting too late out,
I'm not in love this time this night.

-By Avril Lavigne

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

I wanna run with the Wild Horses

All I want is...
To face the fear but, not feel scared

Wild horses I wanna be like you
Throwing caution to the wind
& run free too
Wish I could recklessly love, like I'm longing to
I wanna run with the wild horses!

I see the girl I wanna be
Riding bare back, care free along the shore
If only that someone, was me-
Jumping head first headlong without a thought
To act and damn the consequence!
How I wish it could be that easy
But fear surrounds me like a fence
I wanna break free

I wanna run with the wild horses

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Loosing my Way

Can anybody out there hear me? 'Cause I can't seem to hear myself
Can anybody out there see me? 'Cause I can't seem to see myself...
There's gotta be a heaven somewhere Can you save me from this hell?
Can anybody out there feel me? 'Cause I can't seem to feel myself.

I'm losing my way I keep losing my way...

I don't know what to make of my life right now...
One day I'm flying high on optimism, seeing the future and loving it, enjoying the laughter and the late nights. The next, I'm wallowing in self pity wondering to myself where the time went and trying to cope with the burden of school. Sometimes you're up, sometimes you're down right? Well right now, I'm down; I am very much down. Very down. And I'm trying to talk to myself telling myself to remain calm and breathe.
This is such a struggle for me. I am balancing school and trying to confine my social time. It's not working-nothing of it is working and everyday is a struggle. I want it to stop.

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Scared Of Lonely

I'm in this fight and I'm swinging and my arms are getting tired
I'm trying to beat this emptiness but I'm running out of time
I'm sinking in the sand and I can barely stand
I'm lost in this dream, I need you to hold me

I'M SCARED OF LONELY

I try to be patient but I'm hurting deep inside
And I can't keep waiting, I need comfort late at night
And I can't find my way, won't you lead me home?
'Cause I'm lost in this dream, I need you to hold me

I'M SCARED OF LONELY

And I'm scared of being the only shadow I see along a wall
And I'm scared of the only heart beat I hear beating is my own
And I'm scared of being alone, I can't seem to breathe
When I am lost in this dream, I need you to hold me

I'M SCARED OF LONELY, I'M SCARED OF LONELY

I need your break when nobody is around
'Cause I'm tired of this emptiness
I think I'm drowning, I can't be lonely
And I'm lost in this dream, I need you to hold me

...I'M SCARED OF LONELY

-(lyrics by Beyonce)

Thursday, June 25, 2009

For Michael...

I Remember The Time- One of my first amazing encounters: He had the honor of doing, "Will You Be There," the Free Willy Song. Willy finally makes it to freedom swimming into the sunset, and then the song starts; building on the hums of the choir, and Michael Jackson, for me, became a certified idol.

How does he do it?? How does he move to the music so gracefully, and yet so powerfully on any stage?? The crowds of thousands seem to be worshiping him. How could he erupt an audience with only the stretch of his hands. He had moves like noooooooo other.
He was Bad, he was Dangerous. I remember the Moon Walk; the Phenomenon. I remember his lyrics that could unite hearts; the lyrics that yearned to Heal the World. I remember the dance moves, the electricity, the leather, the hat, the glove, glasses, socks, jackets,zippers,belts,the Thriller! ...the knees, the ankles, the toes, the hips the crotch the kick! ...And the Nose. There was non before, and there will be none after.
I heard of John Lennon, (The Beatles), Princess Diana, The Pope, Bob Marley, Sinatra, Elvis; but I never knew them like I knew Michael, I saw his evolution, I witnessed his unmerciful doses of performance. I saw him grow from an adult to a King. He took me from the"ABC's" and left me "Speechless." He amazed me, he moved me; I couldn't help looking like a fool trying to dance like Michael, but I didn't care. It was only Michael and me when I listened to him, no one else around; Michael Rocked my World.
He would never shout, he would Scream; he would never belt, he would cry.

There was a mystery, no doubt; he was a mystery. Could anyone command so much love, such a following, and still be a natural and normal human being? Michael Jackson was The Man in the Mirror, ever evolving, ever changing. He evolved as a musician as he did as a man. But it never mattered whether he was Black or White. I love him.
Yesterday, Today and Forever.

Gone too Soon

Monday, June 15, 2009

The List

So I have this routine: wake up, tidy up, tidy ME up, (before or after I have breakfast), stretch, exercise, READ, facebook, email, do Spanish, do music, go jogging. That list has so far proved to be only a theoretical plan, for I do only few of the days' scheduled activities, the main activity being facebook; yes I do manage to get some reading in and just recently I took the spanish book out of its storage; so to look on the bright side I am progressing! I would love to be able to do more of my other "duties,"or rather, a little less of facebook. There is no doubt that I have an addiction and the excuse that it is summer, is not acceptable. Practices like this may start out harmless but after a while they become so routine and complacent thinking things are under control and before it can be stopped it becomes an addiction; a full blown addiction. Facebook has become an addiction and I am hooked.
The fact that all I can only afford to accomplish roughly only two tasks daily speaks to my discipline. Simply put I don't have much of it, and it is embarrassing. I am embarrassed at myself. This week coming will be my fourth week of summer vacation and so far it has been rather wasteful. I really want to turn things around for myself but my discipline wilts and wilts with each passing day. Hopefully, by evaluating myself through this blog I can wake up tomorrow with a new dose of discipline to get through more things on my list. But I know it cannot happen in a day or one night or even after one blog post and I am beginning to realize it is a process that I will have to work on and build on, a long process that will take time but that needs to be done. Doing it now will surely help me in Sept when I really need it.

Saturday, June 6, 2009

And the second scene was a sex scene...

Now I don't mean to sound miserable by making this blog entry, (only the second entry on my blog spot) a complaint; but I really wanted to vent about how annoyed I am that USA network needed to reassure its viewers of their 'commitment' to providing (good) T.V. by placing a sex scene in the second scene, within the first 15 minutes of the premier episode of their brand new series Royal Pains. ...I mean! the episode was going so well, had all the right elements- good looking leading man, toned, confident, trusting career as a doctor, (they even gave us a heroic side with him saving a man's life using only gym bags and an old door.) gym bags!! Now that's a hero. Then right after that amazing stunt, comes the lady. (There is always a lady), skinny, sexy, sleek, YOUNG lady, swept off her feet by the charm and smooth moves of the newly crowned doctor-hero-guy. And before I can acquaint myself with her ass, he goes and beds her, not even dining her first; nope! Just beds her. There is our reassurance ladies and gentlemen. We need not worry about the future of this series. ;)
But rather than attracting my attention, it turns me off. Let ME search for the 'missing element.' Leave the mystery in, give me something to look forward to, let me beg for the damn sex!!
If they had even waited at least 20 mins to add their "mandatory" sex scene, then maybe I would have considered the series, but I don't think after this episode I will be doing any such thing.
My trusty USA network that I has always been faithful in providing me with those never ending repeat episodes of Law&Order; the people that always guarntee me my addictive lapsed seasons of House, the station that I can rely on to give me my yearly dosage of Home Alone every Christmas, has indeed failed with their presentation of this new series. Royal Pains was literally a royal pain.
Now I must go, I need to wash this bad taste out of my mouth.

Sunday, May 3, 2009

OMG I have done 15 posts so far and have published NONE! Man wat a procrastinator I am!! I intended to publish them all but they've all back up on me and I don't know how im going to edit & spell check all 15. No, no there is no time limit or anything that I need to complete it by, but my life isnt going to wait on me to edit bogs and post 15 blogs! my life is rolling wheel goin up hill and down valleys, over rocks and under bridges, through raging waters and in calm seas; never stopping. As my life continues so will my posts, I need to get these 15 off of my hands before I get myself into anymore 'adventures' that I may need to blog about.
To think that blogger.com was supposed to help me "release," its only adding to my lifes tension, AND an ever growing ToDo List: Edit & spell check 15 posts and publish them.

Friday, May 1, 2009

ok i think i have mellowed. im breathing easiER now, but still on edge. company help, supportive company definitely helps. i still want to collapse to the ground occasionally when i think about this "predicament" i have found myself in, when i think about it all; it friggin weighs alot!! and i want to fall to the ground and shake it out.
I can move on from this, I will move on from it. This is not the end of the world and yess it is going to be hard but no one said it was ever going to be easy so i have to go through it live learn and be better

About Me

My photo
There is only one word that describes me--SUPERCALAFRAJALISTICEXPIALIDOCIOUS!!!!!! ...whew! ;) ♥